"Baby"
Now that the quarter is finally over, there's some time to relax and do whatever before the next quarter begins.
And yet, I feel that my christmas break isn't going to be the ideal christmas i would be hoping for ever since what's-his-face and I got together. Why? Because with the lack of communication between us, nothing will ever happen at all.
I'm pretty sure for a fact, that what happened between us was honestly a summer fling and that, once he got the girl, there's no effort in doing anything anymore. I know i should be trying too, but how can i when i don't know what the fuck i'm doing still?
I can't ask for help, because well...the advice people will give me is "why don't you be the one to text him?" and what? make me feel like i'm bugging him? heck, i may be a "girlfriend", but i'm such a lousy one at best.
I'm honestly starting to believe that i can't do this.
I can't be in this relationship when he and i don't bother saying "hi" in a text anymore; where we can't go out anymore, without my family freaking out; where the only time we get close to one another, was when i would relax at his house before work and he'd lie down next to me, and even kiss me with a smile and i smile back. Where even when i mention "christmas in the park", he automatically kills it by telling me he doesn't like it, even more so, telling he doesn't like the Christmas holiday at all.
I honestly don't know what to say anymore... If anything, he has no idea how much he makes me sad inside. If he really does like me, as he told me before, shouldn't he keep trying to make an effort to make this work between us? If tries again, I'll honestly give my two cents and more so to make this work somehow.
And yet, I feel that my christmas break isn't going to be the ideal christmas i would be hoping for ever since what's-his-face and I got together. Why? Because with the lack of communication between us, nothing will ever happen at all.
I'm pretty sure for a fact, that what happened between us was honestly a summer fling and that, once he got the girl, there's no effort in doing anything anymore. I know i should be trying too, but how can i when i don't know what the fuck i'm doing still?
I can't ask for help, because well...the advice people will give me is "why don't you be the one to text him?" and what? make me feel like i'm bugging him? heck, i may be a "girlfriend", but i'm such a lousy one at best.
I'm honestly starting to believe that i can't do this.
I can't be in this relationship when he and i don't bother saying "hi" in a text anymore; where we can't go out anymore, without my family freaking out; where the only time we get close to one another, was when i would relax at his house before work and he'd lie down next to me, and even kiss me with a smile and i smile back. Where even when i mention "christmas in the park", he automatically kills it by telling me he doesn't like it, even more so, telling he doesn't like the Christmas holiday at all.
I honestly don't know what to say anymore... If anything, he has no idea how much he makes me sad inside. If he really does like me, as he told me before, shouldn't he keep trying to make an effort to make this work between us? If tries again, I'll honestly give my two cents and more so to make this work somehow.
In the back of my head, it honestly bugs me when someone tells me that I can find someone so much better than him. Okay, help me find that guy then. I didn't even find him in the first place, we found each other at work.
Again, besides Kenny (and my stupid crush on him), William is one of the guys that has made me literary, as well as almost physically, sad.
Comments
Post a Comment