Here All Alone

Why is that everytime he and I talk/text, I always get the feeling that we are always getting to the question of ending this?

just because we haven't done much or even talked much, he keeps asking me the question of if we should even continue with this relationship? 

I don't get it. 

He has his faults, and so do I. 

I'm new at all of this~ 

He has to give us sometime to get use to all of this. Especially knowing the fact that we both work together, and I just suck at communication.

When he recently asked me if we should even continue this relationship, it literary broke my heart for a moment. 

Because I honestly began to ponder and realized....

Was he really gonna break up with me at that moment, just because I seem to be disinterested in things and that I lack talking? 

That's a bit ... harsh... :(

I honestly was about to argue back, but I told him flat out that I want to keep going.

If anything, I'm fucking trying here. Again, I'm a fucking noob in this relationship. he, on the other, has gone through relationships, so he has some experience in all of this.

it's a bit sad to know that I much rather let all my thoughts out in a blog, than actually talk about all this with my own boyfriend; since he's always wondering exactly what the hell am I thinking. 

 I'd show him my blog, but I'm sure he'll think I'm a bit crazy and not caring about his curiosity. 

but it's just... argh... 

Give me a fuckin' break here! 

I just don't like talking sometimes, why can't he understand that? Because talking only leads a person in trouble with the things that come out of their mouths.

And yet, I got in trouble for not speaking up once.... Stupid Circle K, Stupid mission ... argh

I should tell him all of this; There's no real point if I'm just gonna keep things bottled up in my mind.