爱离开 (My Turn to Cry)
So after that post of how "What's his face" was making me feel sad, its finally come to this moment when we finally decided to figure out where this relationship stands... It was going nowhere, and with that being said that we should just end it.
In which, I simply replied "Okay then."
Because, I didn't know what else to say to that. 'How can you simply say that so calming?' or "You're not gonna even try anymore?" Yeah, those should've been the questions i should've asked, but it wouldn't matter, because let's be honest, since i wasn't even trying at all.
And yet, I was really wanting to try and make my first relationship work to last long. To make it worth something. But i should've known that it wasn't going to happen at all. Since we never acted like a "couple" or even people that was dating in general.
We never held hands in public, we never even kissed in public; we never really did anything outside. The only time we did hold hands or kissed in public, was during the summer.
It even bugs me even more now that, if anything, we were just using each other. Me, kind of just used him to get to school and work; him, just used me to get "some" -- fuck. i gave up my 'V' to him...
Yet in my mind, i was glad to even see him more because of that, but there was a huge lack of conversation during those car rides to De Anza.
... Some relationship bonding time right there....
After four months of this... i've come to conclusion that the both of us really just wasted our time together. Because, if he really did like me, as he's told me the first time, he should've kept trying instead of just pushing me aside and messed with me when he was bored.
After he said that we should just end it, i ended up crying about it because i really came to that conclusion in my mind that i was just being used again. This time by my own boyfriend. I get into things too quickly and end up just getting hurt in the end. literary.
I really think he's happy that i'm not bothering him anymore. i'm sure that there's another girl out there who's willing to take his shiet; his awkward quietness and his smoking and his fucking hormones; most likely there'll be a girl who's just like him in many ways that he'll stop being retarded.
I'm pretty sure though, that this relationship already was going down hill, that one messed up day. i'm gonna go into details again, but i'm pretty sure it was the end there. Since i'm sure his past girlfriends didn't have those moments like i did, and didn't have to deal with the things i go through, in which he didn't like at all.
I guess I have to say that my family were right; He should at least be understanding about my family, and not to put down the things i say or what my family tells me. I really guess my first boyfriend was a downer. Like seriously.
He didn't like the holidays. He didn't like christmas. he didn't care much about presents. Just everything.
And yet, he has no idea that i really wanted him to be more open, much like he wanted me to be open with him..
In which, I simply replied "Okay then."
Because, I didn't know what else to say to that. 'How can you simply say that so calming?' or "You're not gonna even try anymore?" Yeah, those should've been the questions i should've asked, but it wouldn't matter, because let's be honest, since i wasn't even trying at all.
And yet, I was really wanting to try and make my first relationship work to last long. To make it worth something. But i should've known that it wasn't going to happen at all. Since we never acted like a "couple" or even people that was dating in general.
We never held hands in public, we never even kissed in public; we never really did anything outside. The only time we did hold hands or kissed in public, was during the summer.
Yet in my mind, i was glad to even see him more because of that, but there was a huge lack of conversation during those car rides to De Anza.
... Some relationship bonding time right there....
After four months of this... i've come to conclusion that the both of us really just wasted our time together. Because, if he really did like me, as he's told me the first time, he should've kept trying instead of just pushing me aside and messed with me when he was bored.
I really think he's happy that i'm not bothering him anymore. i'm sure that there's another girl out there who's willing to take his shiet; his awkward quietness and his smoking and his fucking hormones; most likely there'll be a girl who's just like him in many ways that he'll stop being retarded.
I'm pretty sure though, that this relationship already was going down hill, that one messed up day. i'm gonna go into details again, but i'm pretty sure it was the end there. Since i'm sure his past girlfriends didn't have those moments like i did, and didn't have to deal with the things i go through, in which he didn't like at all.
I guess I have to say that my family were right; He should at least be understanding about my family, and not to put down the things i say or what my family tells me. I really guess my first boyfriend was a downer. Like seriously.
He didn't like the holidays. He didn't like christmas. he didn't care much about presents. Just everything.
And yet, he has no idea that i really wanted him to be more open, much like he wanted me to be open with him..
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